This is a song that I wrote reflecting on my first year of recovery. I learned so much about myself doing a deep dive into my fears, guilt, shame, resentments, trauma, and pain. It was so much to unpack but the outcome was a huge weight lifted from my life.
I was able to find love and forgiveness for myself and others and reconcile many relationships, some I didn’t even realize were damaged.
lyrics
Verse 1
I spent the last year or so
Takin a good look in the mirror so
Everything’s a little clearer now
Gettin better at existing in the hear and now
But I still got a ways to go
I got a tendency to overthink
I gotta take it slow
I gotta realize the only thing
I really know is that I don’t know
And that’s more than most
Kids my age
Don’t really play the way we used to play
And most the time we only sayin what we used to say
Fuck it I’m tryin something new today
And it just might include some nudity
Explore the infinite potentialities
Cuz every single decision alters reality
And everybody’s is different and every thought is a ripple in space and time throughout the motherfuckin galaxy
Whoa!! Damn I just blew my mind!
You feel that shit?
I just can’t believe that rhyme
I killed that shit!
Man I feel so alive and ain’t a minute I would trade of my whole damn life
You ever think of how incredible it is
That we can take something as simple as an edible and shit
And all a sudden everything’s a little different than it was even though nothin really changed?
Man there’s levels to this shit!
Chorus
I thought about what was said
And what it meant to me (what it meant to me)
I used to hold doubt in my head
Now I just let it be
I got love so I’m givin it out
Life’s ups and downs got you spinnin around
Everything’s a little clearer now
Getting better at existing in the here and now
Verse 2
I just had a conversation with my dad
Probably the realest conversation that we’ve ever had
And not because of what was said
But because I’m in a place where I love and understand
That everything he ever did
was what he had to do
In the place he was in
with the things that he knew
And if he would have known
how those things would gone
Then he might not have chosen the things that went wrong
But the fact is we live
In the moments we have
And no matter the outcome
We can’t change the past
So as long as we use it to shape how we live
All that other shit’s water under the bridge
Man, we’re all just tryin to figure it out
I’m tryna learn to be emotionally literate now
I’m tryin to be considerate while still detaching from the outcome and livin it now
Chorus
I thought about what was said
And what it meant to me (what it meant to me)
I used to hold doubt in my head
Now I just let it be
I got love so I’m givin it out
Life’s ups and downs got you spinnin around
Everything’s a little clearer now
Getting better at existing in the here and now
credits
from Daybreak,
track released February 22, 2024
This song features vocals from Theodore Von, sax from Forrest Day, bass from Jeremy Trindade, over Alex Laux’s production. It was mixed and mastered by Bawlin Colin at Skyline Studios
San Francisco producer Brycon pairs with the MC Equipto—also from the Bay Area—for 13 grimy, hard-hitting, hip-hop tracks. Bandcamp New & Notable Jan 30, 2022